The Power of Self-Validation
The year is flying by
We hosted a late holiday celebration in January and had family in town. I built a pinewood derby car, which set a track record, and started my master's degree the first week of the new year.
All four of us had the viral plague as well. Fun, right?!?
We have two kids and are in the busiest season of our lives. However, recently, I made a significant breakthrough in my personal development journey.
I wear many hats as a husband, father, scout leader, business owner, and now midlife graduate student.
I have periods where I feel insecure and need to seek external validation; however, I recently had the privilege of working with a mentor who helped me seek that validation inside of myself.
I'm not knocking validation. We all need it. Community and social connection are biological needs without which we can not survive. However, having the self-esteem to validate ourselves is where actualization and growth lie because insecurities and negative messages no longer have the power to hijack our self-talk.
I no longer need an external reference point to gauge where I stand; I know I am a decent dad adored by his kids, a loyal husband loved by my gorgeous wife, a responsible and friendly neighbor, and a talented coach and counselor.
These are what my mentor calls knowns. They are facts no different than the boiling temperature of water or the number of days each week.
I'm going to push you a little this month. I know we all have imposter syndrome, anxiety, and fears, but I'm calling BS on walking around with a head full of child-like worries and encouraging you to choose a new story.
Take a piece of paper and write down ten things you know about yourself. This level of self-reflection is an essential exercise. You might feel a little arrogant at first, but go ahead and stretch yourself. Write down ten things you know are true.
What would happen if you chose a new identity based on better quality knowns?
Would you stress less?
Hit the gym more?
Would you finally make time for lunch with that friend you love?
Would you go fishing instead of working weekends?
Could you opt out of the big, expensive vacation and do something more down-to-earth and chill?
Questioning your resistance to claiming a healthier identity can give you insight into what you crave in this season of life, and I guarantee you can create the balance, peace, and joy you seek.
Go get it, my friend.
Are you ready to get back in touch with your passion and purpose?
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