Don't ask Permission. Create the Life you want.

(4-minute read)

One of the perks of being obsessed with personal development is that you frequently find yourself stopping affirmation tapes and feverishly writing out lists of things you want to accomplish before you die. 

I was 22 when someone handed me a copy of Tich Nat Hanh's "Peace is every step." It was the first time I came to realize there was another dimension to our lives, a sort of cerebral canvas that our entire personality and psychological story rested on. 

It was a profound insight when I realized that I could be the painter and not the painting. 

I took off on road trips, flying down open highways, and looking for meaning in improvisational rock concerts. 

I ran with a pack of ragamuffin hipsters, and we debated philosophy in barrooms, posing big existential riddles. 

Why are we here? 

Where did we come from? 

What is consciousness? 

I read Nietzsche and Kierkegaard. I searched for the truth behind it all.  

I found myself in the emotional turbulence every twenty-something seemed to encounter. The sole purpose of my life up to that point, or so it seemed, was to graduate from university and enter the "real world." Adults had prepped me for it since I was a wee lad. A year after graduating from LSU, I had strung together a handful of jobs, and I found nothing gratifying about my new life in the adult sphere. 

My buddy gave me a 6 CD set of Eckhart Tolle's audiobook "The Power of Now." His portrayal of ego death mystified me as I read His story. The ensuing years of bliss he spent sitting on park benches, amazed by the glistening presence of the eternal now. 

I enjoyed the sequel "A New Earth" as well. I consumed almost everything I could get my hands on from Wayne Dyer, Byron Katie, and Pema Chodron. I listened to Tony Robbins tapes and followed blogs on minimalism and debt-free living. 

I had written life plans and bucket list todos in spiral-bound notebooks through the years, and I would jot down insights on posted notes and in word documents. I had big dreams but frequently lost sight of them, and most never bore fruit. 

One thing that has stuck with me through a nearly 15-year study of spirituality, self-development, and personal finance is that you won't make much headway without concrete plans. In the world of entrepreneurs, dreamers, writers, and wannabe motivational speakers, ideas come super cheap. Self-awareness and insight are great. However, execution is an entirely different animal, and for many of us, the rubber never really meets the road.

Or maybe it does-

Much of our daily life runs on a subconscious autopilot we rarely question. Principles guide us, and our attention naturally flows towards financial responsibility and family life. Then the vortex of exhaustion pulls us towards a comfortable couch for small scraps of downtime to escape with a tablet or smartphone. 

Attitude drives action. We all have long-held ideas about our essential worth as humans, and we shape our lives based on what we think is possible, not necessarily what IS possible. In the hippie-dippy world of life coaching, we call these intellectual tenants "core beliefs." They are often inaccurate and, in many cases, outright lies. 

We feel a tug of war between adult responsibility and our deep yearning for a life of contentment, peace, and purpose.  

Too many of us settle into the well-worn routine of getting the important stuff done and delaying other aspirations to some future date when we'll have more energy. 

Perhaps it's not that cut and dry. What if the rubber could meet the road on some of these hope and dreams? 

What if the rubber had to meet the road just for the sake of our sanity? 

I've learned firsthand that we can't betray the dreamer inside of us forever, and it's not sustainable. Our hearts have plans written on them, and daily life doesn't always feed our needs to create or explore life's possibilities. The life coach in me wants to remind you that you should hurry up and get on with it. 

Start living on your terms right now!

The hardest part of living an alternative lifestyle is getting over breaking the rules. We use others as benchmarks. We wonder if we are doing life right. We ask ourselves if we have the guts to change or give some energy to a new passion. I know from personal experience that there is a place beyond that doubt. I've taken the risk. I've put in the time and lived to tell the tale. 

Life is so, so, so short. You should take delight and cherish the air in your lungs. If you need permission from anyone to make that significant change, you can have mine. Maybe you'll work part-time, live broke, survive on beans and rice and write your first 10,000 words. (I did that, and it was awesome) 

Go out boldly and do the dream-

Start roasting coffee beans to sell at the farmer's market. Become a high-end personal trainer and lead outdoor boot camps. Go to seminary and plant a church. Build a collective with other parents and run an in-home daycare. Open your Etsy shop. 

Quit corporate, sell all the crap, and build yourself a tiny house in the woods. Do stand-up comedy, or teach drum lessons. Insert your crazy, childish, foolish, irrational, unrealistic, insane, absurd, never-gonna-happen pipe dream here.

You can find your way in the la-la land of creativity, choosing your adventure and making up the rules as you go. 

You won't regret it. It’s your life, after all.